Changes....

I am so happy that you feel good about your life and that you are living your life while losing weight! You just seem so happy and remind me of sunshine in your pictures. I really like the pink that you are wearing, in the picture, you seriously look like you are beaming with happiness and you have such a beautiful smile, your face just lights up!! No wonder you have so many readers now, you truly are an inspiration to others!

I was so proud of you that you were able to get in touch with a divorce attorney and disfigurement was not the price! Most women look like shit by the time they file for a divorce, but you my dear friend are the epitomy of beauty right now. You know this could not represent a bigger sign that you are most definately going in the right direction with your life. This has to make you feel good inside. You are truly on your way to unleashing the queen you are within!

I want you to know that I have shown everyone your pictures and they think you are doing an incredible job, and everyone over here is CA is cheering for you. I almost feel like you are my child and I am breaking out the wallet photos or something!

I feel as though I have been a really bad guider to you lately, and I wanted to tell you Im sorry!! These past few weeks have been really rough for me going back and forth with all this stuff with this pill and stuff with my job. Plus, I really miss Peter Pan through all of this. Not because I really miss him but because we had always talked about when I became a psychologist and how he would help me open up my practice. I always knew I would open up some type of business and I always thought that HE would be MY guider. But as all of this is happening he is anything but here. It kind of made me not sad, but I guess blue, that as all this is going on, he isnt here for me to share it with. But I guess this is how the universe wanted it to be, whatever lessons I am to learn I guess I had to learn them on my own without him. I guess I had to learn how to raise money and find investors on my own. But I really wished that he was here so I could tell him about it you know.

Within the next six months I am going to get back in school and finish everything up. I am going to finish up the degrees and I am going to get my personal trainers certificate. I feel as though I need to have as many things as I can to give me credibility. You know I feel like my life has changed so drasticallyin the last month. I feel as though I am at the top of the roller coaster and my life is about ready to go about 100 mph! I am really excited and at the same time really kind of scared. Its almost like I feel as though fate has really entered my life. There is a lot of change coming up in my life I can see it. Plus, I am going to have to give up my freedom car, this is how I know big change is coming my way.

I know you wont believe this but exactly two years ago this past mothers day, I sold my Mercedes that was only 18 months old, that I had specially ordered and paid for, yes girl, all by myself, because you know that is how I roll.... for a used, 1 year old at the time, Honda Civic! Of course it was a top of the line, which means umm... not much, but a sunroof and electric windows, I had satellite radio put in and I basically I drove the fuck out this car. In 2 years I put 80,000 miles on the car.... umm. yeah, I literally am never home! But it was my freedom car because, it wasnt a lease I could jump in it and go anywhere, anytime, with whomever, I could do whatever I wanted. I cant tell you how many sunrises and sunset's over the desert that I saw while I was driving that car back and forth from California to Arizona. Every time I saw them I felt so free on the inside! Now that Joey will drive in October I will give him the civic and get, yes, you guessed it another lease. Time to re-enter real life once again. I guess after two years off I am ready for the journey ahead!

Sometimes I really wished you lived in LA so we could hang out, smoke cigarettes, drink lemon drops and chat for hours!